Relationships

How to pull a female police officer at 2am, by a pissed chancer

MEETING the police is usually to be avoided, but men often feel differently when the club shuts and they’re female. Here are some ways to impress while shitfaced.

Getting pegged, and other perils of sex with a younger woman

A YOUNGER partner sounds great until you realise sex is different now and you’ll look like an old fart for not being into it. Will you be broadminded enough for these things?

In da Club, and other millennial wedding songs the couple's parents didn't want to pay for

THE older generation wanted generic classics. The happy millennial couple demanded this bullshit.

Five sex positions that will help you find your missing earbud

WANT to keep your sex life exciting, but also find those earbuds you keep losing? Try these erotic positions and buying pricey replacements will be a thing of the past.

Boyfriend thrilled to be psychoanalysed by group chat

A 28-YEAR-OLD man is delighted to be diagnosed as having ‘anxious avoidant attachment’ by the enthusiastic amateurs on his girlfriend’s group chat.

How to convincingly claim 'it was you, all along' – the woman's guide to settling

GOT an ex or male friend who, as 35 approaches, looks better and better? Here’s how to convince him and yourself that he was always the one.

Woman conflicted as husband suddenly good in bed

A WIFE is unsure how to feel about her husband, after 15 years of marriage, finally learning how to make her orgasm.

How to arouse a man with a blatantly made-up story of your sexual past

HAVE you got a sexual past that so vanilla it could be in the freezer section at Asda, but want to appear less boring to a lover? Here’s how to craft a dubious erotic tale.

You've had more partners than me, and other reasons why we need an open marriage

TRYING to convince your wife she wants an open marriage? These are the reasons why you f**king around would only make your relationship stronger.