Relationships

CUDDLING all night without it turning sexual was a blissful way to spend time together, a man who frantically masturbated at 3am has told a new girlfriend.

FINALLY tempted someone off the apps to a real-life date, then spotted a genuine stunner across the bar? Use these tips to keep the one you have until you trade up.

WOMEN have reminded their boyfriends, husbands and male family members that they can see who they follow on Instagram and have no intention of pretending they cannot.

A NEWLYWED woman throwing her bouquet is very obviously trying to ensure it lands in the hands of a particular unwed friend.

A man who emerged from the bathroom ready for intercourse is pretending he did not wash his horrible knob in his girlfriend's lovely sink.

A WOMAN is concerned that her one-night liaison with a personable stranger is moving a little too fast for both of them.

LIKE a beloved family pet being put down, before parting with one’s girlfriend she must be given one last wonderful day. Follow this schedule.

I HAVE recently discovered that the passage of time has been unfairly applied to me.

THE relationship is deceased even if the bedroom lurches on like a drooling zombie hungry for flesh. If you’re doing these end it, or at least cheat.

MEN who favour Anne Hathaway over Sydney Sweeney are the great sexual thinkers of their time. Follow these precepts and you can become the Einstein of being horny.