Relationships

IT’S the question every straight man has asked himself: which fellow male would you have sex with if the alternative was being executed or something? Here are the least bad options.

MANY aspects of modern dating are weird and distressing, even ‘happy’ relationships. Here are some nightmare partnerships the digital age has served up.

A MAN is concerned that his marriage, which he has been in for 12 years after being together for three years, ticks every box required to be a romance scam.

A WOMAN who set out to voyage into the myriad mysteries of her sexual preferences is devastated to find she is uninterestingly straight.

WOMEN complain they shoulder the bulk of the mental load in relationships, while men quietly, heroically, make sure they never have to worry about these considerations.

A WOMAN believes her boyfriend, who she has outgrown and no longer really suits her, can still earn her a few quid on the popular resale app Vinted.

A MAN feels the perfect anniversary gift from his wife would be low expectations about his sexual performance later.

IMAGINE you’re selling your old Fiat Panda. You agree a price, but as the new owner drives it away it transforms into a top-of-the-range Audi. That is what a post-break-up boob job is like for men.

A WOMAN has developed an immediate fiery hatred for another woman purely on the basis that her boyfriend would 100 per cent fancy her.

SUCKLING at a woman’s nipple while making love, long accepted as a normal bedroom activity, is weird when you think about it according to sexual health experts.