Relationships

A COUPLE have agreed they are not really the type to have sex dangerous or boundary-crossing enough to need a safeword, and feel the lesser for it.

A WOMAN is suffering through a break-up handled with such staggering ineptitude that she would honestly prefer her ex to disappear without a word.

A MAN engrossed in a TV programme has proved to be an effective listener who does not patronise his girlfriend by offering unhelpful advice.

AN evening of interaction with the online dating market saves more marriages than half a year being excruciatingly honest with a relationship counsellor, it has emerged.

A MAN who has bothered to learn the basics about astrology could get laid every night of the week, he has confessed.

HOW their dad was ever considered attractive by the opposite sex is beyond most people’s imaginations, it has emerged.

A WOMAN who has gone to the pub alone does not realise she has taken herself on a ‘solo date’, it has emerged.

A WORKING-class man dating a middle-class woman has admitted being shocked and aroused by how openly she discusses her Nutribullet use. 

I AM on a journey which is also a quest. And I’m on Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge. Because it does not matter how many women it takes; I will find my soulmate.

A JACK Russell has insisted other dogs refer to him as a ‘short king’ so he stands a better chance with the hot German Shepherd down the street.