Relationships

Man's sudden enthusiasm for cunnilingus nothing to do with losing erection

A MAN has confirmed his sudden, mid-lovemaking enthusiasm for cunnilingus is in no way related to the impotence he is currently experiencing.

You choose, says girlfriend who's already decided

A MAN offered the opportunity to decide what TV show to watch is unaware the outcome has already been decided.

Couple's date night is staying in, getting pissed and shagging

A COUPLE have created their own version of date night where they do not go out in favour of drinking alcohol then having sex.

Seven traits of your ex's new partner only you can see are manipulative and evil

IS the former love of your life deliriously happy with someone new? Can only you, because you’re objective, see through the deceit and sickening lies?

How to hide on Tinder that you used to be a Tory MP

HITTING the job market and, now infidelity’s no longer scandalous, the dating market as well? Tinder doesn’t need to know about your most recent period of employment.

On-off couple just failing to meet anyone better

A LONG-TERM on-off couple have confirmed their intermittent relationship is not born of tempestuous love but an inability to find anyone better.

The womaniser's guide to post-coital etiquette

ARE you a man confused by how much time you should waste after sex cuddling? Chauvinist and self-appointed ‘God's gift to women’ Wayne Hayes explains.

Woman clearly villain of her own anecdote

A WOMAN is telling an anecdote which appears, to all listeners if not to the speaker, to be about what an arsehole she is.

Six romantic seaside activities and the grim British resorts that make a mockery of them

ROMANTIC beach walks are the ideal date, unless the beach in question is South Shields. These activities lose their Instagram sheen the moment you step on broken glass.

Couple announce 'we're exclusive' to total indifference

A COUPLE have announced they have gone exclusive, to the shrugging apathy of their family and friends.