AN evening of interaction with the online dating market saves more marriages than half a year being excruciatingly honest with a relationship counsellor, it has emerged.
New research has found that couples experiencing compatibility issues will find they dissolve in mere hours when they experience for themselves the feral online free-for-all that is modern dating.
Dr Helen Archer said: “It’s easier to believe the grass is greener when you haven’t stepped onto it and been dragged into an infinite toxic swamp. So try that first.
“We gave 50 couples six months of counselling – you moan about each other and the other one has to sit there and take it – and 50 an evening on the apps. 18 per cent of the first group made it. Every couple in the second group are clinging together for dear life.
“Why? Because they’ve realised that dating is now fending off an army of hideous, illiterate sociopaths who believe a dick pic is a greeting and sex is a great way to say ‘I’m ending all contact permanently’. Better the twat you’re with than that.”
Stephen and Emma Malley are among those who, after one evening’s swiping, were inspired to renew their vows. She said: “Once we realised how much worse we could be doing, we fell in love all over again.
“Everyone should try this. Trust me, three hours with those predatory f**kers and your boring boyfriend becomes the most wonderful prince.”
