90 per cent of romantic country stroll spent finding secluded spot for girlfriend to piss

A COUPLE have spent the majority of their scenic weekend stroll searching for a suitable place for the woman to take a piss.

Six questions women will ask you'd better get f**king right

INNOCENTLY giving the wrong answer to the woman in your life may scupper your chances of ever getting laid again. Here are the right - and totally wrong - responses to six key queries.

13 deceitful ways to make people go out with you

IS the real you quite an off-putting individual? Here’s how to keep your more unappealing traits well-hidden until you’ve snared a partner.

Commitment-phobic boyfriend refuses to enter into satanic blood oath

A WOMAN is frustrated that her long-term partner has yet again refused to show his commitment to their relationship by proposing an unholy blood pact.

All boyfriends low-maintenance

EVERY single boyfriend is a low-maintenance partner with easily met expectations for gifts, affection and texts, it has emerged.

The worst songs to include in a sex playlist

GETTING lucky? Need to set the mood? Don’t include these tracks if you don’t want your coitus interrupted.

The smallest possible things to have the largest possible row about

WANT a row with your partner? Ignore the elephant in the room and argue over these tiny things instead:

Man watching weekend lie-in sex slip through his grasp

A MAN is realising that hoped-for morning sex is increasingly unlikely due to his partner doing other stuff.

How to grovel with no dignity for break-up sex

FANCY one last shag as your relationship ends? It’s not a terrible idea, honest, so here’s how to go about it.

Woman overthinks relationship with man before he's even swiped right

A WOMAN has spent two hours imagining the rise and inevitable end in heartbreak of her relationship with a man who has not yet swiped back.