Relationships

A WOMAN is playfully seeing how her new boyfriend will react to a pitiless dissection of everything he is, enjoys, or hopes to be.

A MAN trying to get his girlfriend to dump him has only now realised how bad his behaviour could have been throughout the relationship.

A YOUNG couple who share every activity are each independently desperate to do stuff away from that other bastard for a change.

THE wives of middle-aged miserable men have agreed that this curious phenomenon is entirely unrelated to their own behaviour.

THINK my condition, that of wanting no-strings-attached sex with multiple women, is no more than selfish, objectifying lust? Wait until you hear the cool name I’ve given it.

A MAN is facing the tough choice between spending the evening in the company of his wife, who he loves dearly, or watching something other than total shit.

A SINGLE woman has discovered that she cannot decide to settle for an average or dull man because they have all been snapped up too.

ARE you an idiot trying to breed in the mistaken belief the world needs more like you? Struggling with what goes where? These pointers may bring you success.

THE most wonderful day of February is behind us, but did the romance in the air and relentless marketing succeed in getting you laid?

IT’S impossible to ignore the homoerotic overtones of Trump’s adulation for Putin. If you're a MAGA type feeling aroused by it too, here’s how to bury your unwanted feelings of gayness.