Closing kitchen cupboards noisily: Totally pathetic ways to show your partner you're in a huff

PISSED off with your other half? Trying to display that annoyance in the lamest way possible? Here are five surefire ways to make your feelings known.

Walking around a shopping centre: The teenager's guide to shit dates

LOOKING for romance but on a very limited budget? Here are some of the awful dates you no doubt went on as a teenager.

You and five other people everyone bitches about

EVERYONE loves to slag people off behind their back, but who are the most popular targets? Find out with this guide.

Married couples more awkward after sex than one-night stands

MARRIED couples who have unexpectedly had sex are more awkward the next morning than total strangers, they have confirmed.

Woman turns down soulmate because he's a Gemini

A FERVENT believer in astrology has rejected the man who is her soulmate due to some bollocks about him being a Gemini.

Six great things to do in the bathroom to really annoy your partner

AN ordinary bathroom is surprisingly full of opportunities to leave your partner seething with rage. Try these, out of shocking laziness or just for the hell of it.

'Very tired' couple leaving party clearly off for a shag

A COUPLE who spent an entire evening blatantly canoodling believe their excuse of needing to leave due to tiredness was actually convincing.

Six lies you have to tell your partner or your relationship would be f**ked

HONESTY is great in theory, but it's also a good idea not to ruin your relationship. Here are some situations where barefaced lies are morally the right thing to do.

'It's fine, honestly' and other insulting ways to describe penis length

NEED to describe the length of a man’s package for some reason? Avoid these phrases unless you want to hurt his feelings.

Five ways to back out of a drunken marriage proposal

GOT so hammered at the weekend you inadvertently popped the question? Here's five ways to wriggle out of it.