THE 300 masked men who blockaded the port of Dover have confirmed they are also available to arrive in force at far-right birthday parties.
The men of Patriot Platform announced their arrival on the UK’s entertainment scene with a short blockade of the A20 which achieved nothing, and would like Britain to know they are now taking bookings for celebratory fascist events.
Organiser Danny Tommo, whose very surname proves he is the man of the people aloof elitist Tommy Robinson could never be, said: “Bang. You can’t buy publicity like that. Now visit our website.
“You’ll find you can book us for birthday parties, for retirement events, for weddings, and for corporate get-togethers. Not bar mitzvahs. Some of the lads have got previous.
“Imagine the buzz when you announce Kayden’s tenth birthday and our men march out, all clad entirely in black, only their eyes showing, and stop all traffic on the A511 while you sing ‘Happy birthday to you’. He’ll be the envy of all his classmates.
“Subsequent fighting with the police comes at no extra charge. Nor is it cancellable. I’ll be honest, once their blood’s up they’re going to twat someone.”
Roy Hobbs of Burslem said: “This would be marvellous for mine and Audrey’s 50th anniversary. A National Front riot is how we got together.”
