A WOMAN has made the drunken decision that she can trim her own fringe just as well as any fancy hairdresser.
Emma Bradford, who has been bothered by her unruly and overlong fringe for weeks now, assessed herself as fully competent to do the simple job using ordinary kitchen scissors.
She said: “This fucking thing has been in my face all night. I’m only going to take a tiny bit off. Where’s the spirit level?
“Sure, I could book an appointment with the hairdresser, but who needs her when I’m absolutely confident that I can totally smash it right now?
“I’m trained. I had a Girl’s World when I was a kid. Anyway, even if something goes wrong, which it won’t, it’ll just grow right back.
“Here we go… easy… eaaaasy…”
Bradford is next expected to be seen in public tomorrow morning, wearing a bandana and baseball cap on her way to an emergency appointment at Toni & Guy.