News

Non-Londoners don’t listen to podcasts because they are not constantly bored and lonely

PODCASTS are not listened to outside London because people there have friends, research has discovered.

Top level hipsters meet to discuss gammon

LEADING hipsters have met in a craft ale pub to discuss whether gammon should be the next food trend.

Leicester win exposing public to toxic levels of Kasabian

MILLIONS have been exposed to potentially deadly levels of Kasabian following Leicester City’s title win.

Tests ‘prepare children for constantly being judged by idiots’

TESTING children at school is the only way to prepare them for constant, arbitrary judgement as adults, it has been claimed.

Sensible man reads Trump news then googles 'build a nuclear shelter'

A PERFECTLY rational man is planning to build a nuclear fallout shelter after reading about Donald Trump’s presidential nomination.

Man awkwardly awaits fist bump

A MAN has been left awkwardly waiting for a response to his offer of a fist bump, it has emerged.

New Radiohead album a series of party megamixes

THOM Yorke has confirmed his new album will be the perfect Ibiza soundtrack.

Tipping bullshit on every level

EVERYTHING about tipping in restaurants is idiotic, customers and waiters have agreed.