News

Tesco removes 'best before' dates from stuff that was never any good

TESCO has announced it will stop giving false hope to shoppers with ‘best before’ dates on food that is honestly appalling whenever.

All modern friendships based on liking same telly programme

MODERN friendships are based on overlapping tastes in TV, experts have confirmed.

I've had enough of identity politics, says man obsessed with Britishness

A MAN who ridicules identity politics is also really worried about his British identity being erased, it has been emerged.

Stupid arse fly can't get out of wide-open patio door

A FLY is somehow trapped in the living room of a house despite being guided towards an open patio door.

Mums will defend threatened M&S stores 'to the death'

MUMS have formed a militia to defend their favourite branches of Marks & Spencer by any means necessary, they have confirmed.

Unimaginative 8-year-old's favourite dinosaur is a T Rex

A QUITE frankly unimaginative boy has loudly declared that his favourite dinosaur is a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

Woman has decent sex on one-night stand

A WOMAN has been left stunned by a one-night stand that was not a complete sexual disaster, she has confessed.

Staring into empty fridge does not make food appear, scientists confirm

YOU cannot restock a fridge by staring blankly into it for several minutes, it has been confirmed.