A MAN has announced he will be arriving home drunk around three in the morning and then burning the shit out of a frozen pizza.
A 16-YEAR-OLD girl managed to fool bar staff that she was of legal drinking age by ordering a Campari and soda.
THE Channel 5 TV series Big Brother is no longer under surveillance by anyone, it has emerged.
BURGER restaurant Byron has been accused of acting in full accordance with UK immigration law.
HILLARY Clinton should have smiled more during her speech, according to a man who may now vote for a demented orange clown instead.
A BABY girl named Eevee after a Pokemon Go character will do incredibly well in life, scientists believe.
BRITISH air travellers will accept any regulation that stops them drinking full pints in airport bars at 6am, they have confirmed.
A SMALL boy with a pet ferret has confirmed that it is far better than any Pokemon.