BBC admits Bake Off is catastrophic social experiment

THE BBC has revealed The Great British Bake Off is an 'enormously dangerous', population-wide experiment.

Man staying late in office to imagine having affair

A MARKETING manager is staying in the office until 7pm every night to imagine the illicit thrill of having an affair. 

Tragic iPhone 6S has big emotional battery death

AN IPHONE 6S has told its owner to be strong and carry on after its shitty battery gave out.

Guardian article comparing Syria crisis to leaving London ‘in the works’

SOMEONE is writing a Guardian article about how leaving London to live in Bristol is like fleeing Syria, it has been confirmed.

Public to buy Lloyds and destroy it

ORDINARY Britons are to buy Lloyds bank so that they can send it back to the hell from which it came.

Aftershave advert inspires bold gesture that immediately backfires

A MAN has found himself unemployed after copying a character from an aftershave advert.

Pathetic little twat can’t wait to argue over 5p bag charge

AN appalling man is gearing himself up for an argument over having to pay five pence for a plastic bag.

All companies now have punk ethos

EVERY company is now claiming to have a 'punk ethos' that drives it forward.