News

Man who drank water between pints impressed absolutely no-one

A MAN who made a point of drinking water in between each pint of beer did not impress anyone, it has been confirmed.

Heart-rending tale of human suffering prompts man to unsubscribe

THE FATE of Syrian families forced to leave their homes has persuaded a man to opt out of further emails.

Man celebrates pathetic little pay rise by switching to ‘premium’ fuel

A MAN has spent some of his two percent pay rise on some slightly better quality petrol.

Rest of week written off

BRITAIN has agreed that this week is a total waste of everyone's time.

Search for roast lunch enters third county

A COUPLE'S quest to find a pub serving Sunday roasts has entered its third county without success.

Business goes under as entire staff masters art of looking busy

A COMPANY has gone bankrupt after every member of staff perfected the art of looking like they were actually working.

Leicester named 2016 City of No Culture

LEICESTER has been named as next year’s UK anti-arts city.

Lying bastard phone said it had 12 percent battery left

A LYING bastard of a phone claimed it had at least 12 percent battery life left before dying two minutes later.