THE British public have been warned that watching the Eurovision Song Contest to sneer at it is no better than watching it genuinely, like a Belgian.
BUYERS of adult colouring books have discovered they are devoid of any erotic content.
A PROFESSOR has entered into a wager that he can make a Scottish National Party MP pass for a gentleman.
OSAMA bin Laden was convinced that the CIA were responsible for the 9/11 attacks despite planning them himself, it has emerged.
KENT residents have said they may never trust the earth again after being hit by a 4.2 magnitude earthquake.
YOUR Henry Hoover comes into your bedroom at night and watches you from inches away, researchers have discovered.
MONEY lender Wonga has replaced its menacing pensioner puppets with even more menacing dinner ladies.
DAVID Cameron has confirmed it is okay to steal stuff from foreigners.