News

Woman outrages neighbours by barbecuing for herself

A MIDLANDS woman has outraged friends and neighbours by having a barbecue without any man being in attendance.

Every member of smiling Pizza Express team considering job options

EVERY member of the dedicated team launching a new Pizza Express is looking for alternative work, it has emerged.

Non-conformist nutter is pro-EU

A CONSPIRACY theorist, UFO nut and street-ranter has surprised everyone by being a fervent supporter of the In campaign.

Girlfriend’s best friend stops liking status updates

A MAN is concerned that his girlfriend’s best friend has stopped liking his status updates on Facebook.

Windows was just a ‘nasty trick’ all along, says Gates

THE entire Windows operating system has been a vindictive practical joke since its inception, Bill Gates has admitted.

Family with mountain bikes on car secretly going to multiplex

A FAMILY that appears ready for an outdoor weekend is actually going to spend it at an out-of-town entertainment complex, it has been confirmed.

Swearing no longer counts toward character limit, confirms Twitter

OBSCENE language will not be considered part of Twitter’s 140-character limit, it has been revealed.

Germaine Greer excited about new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film

GERMAINE Greer has confirmed that she will be first in line for the forthcoming film Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows.