Lifestyle

AN 18-YEAR-OLD in Swindon wishes he had hired party dwarves for a Mafia-themed birthday party like Lamine Yamal, but instead went bowling and to Nando’s.

AT A party with teenage friends? Spotted a mate with a joint? Your duty to society and your friend is to contact the police immediately. Here’s how to snitch responsibly.

BEFORE Gen Z came along, life was devoid of pleasure, style and emotional nuance. Thank goodness they invented all these things completely by themselves.

A WOMAN is wringing every possible like out of her wedding photos by still posting them to Instagram three years after the fact.

JUST one hour into the Glastonbury festival, attendee Tom Booker has admitted it is ‘not for him’ with approximately 96 hours left to go.

THE first arrivals at Glastonbury are shitting with barely a tremor of revulsion, they have gleefully confirmed.

THE Lake District has unveiled a new advertising campaign reminding the public that travelling there is always to be regretted and never, ever pays off.

YOUR friend who you have previously mocked for their lack of interest in current affairs may have had the right idea the entire time, you have admitted.

IT’S the Summer Solstice tomorrow, and celebrations will include every type of mystical bollocks from the Mother Goddess to fae folk. Here’s how to take a more practical, grounded approach.