Headlines from TheDailyMash.co.uk. It's news to us http://www.thedailymash.co.uk Sat, 04 Jul 2009 04:53:03 +0100 FeedCreator 1.7.2 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1876&Itemid=59 A LIFE of po-faced self-denial and thinking that animals are people can reduce the risk of cancer, doctors have claimed.... Fri, 03 Jul 2009 09:43:39 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1875&Itemid=59 BANKERS have rejected Alistair Darling's plea not to return to the 'madness' that caused the recession, insisting they bloody love... Fri, 03 Jul 2009 09:17:40 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1874&Itemid=28 PEOPLE across Britain last night agreed never to phone a radio show ever again in case Gordon Brown decides to... Fri, 03 Jul 2009 07:41:54 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1873&Itemid=59 TORCHWOOD creator Russell T Davies has reacted angrily to cuts in the series by threatening to turn the BBC's entire... Thu, 02 Jul 2009 07:52:55 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1872&Itemid=59 (news/celebrity/prince-charming-given-48-hours-to-revive-michael-jackson-200907011872/)PRINCE Charming has been handed a 48-hour deadline to get to the Neverland Ranch and attempt to... Wed, 01 Jul 2009 14:06:50 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1871&Itemid=29 With Poppy SpaldingWEDNESDAY: ROMEThis week finds me in the former lava-loving, viaduct-building world dominator: Roma, Italia! It's always been my... Wed, 01 Jul 2009 10:40:22 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1870&Itemid=59 TWENTY pence is now worth £50, a tenner is worth 12p and a 2p piece is worth about four... Wed, 01 Jul 2009 10:08:55 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1869&Itemid=59 SWINE flu parties for children are exactly as bad as any other party filled with jam-covered little shits fucking-up your... Wed, 01 Jul 2009 09:51:35 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1868&Itemid=62 Psychic BobCancer (21 JUN-22 JUL) There's an odd momentum to your affairs right now. Why not start slowly and then... Wed, 01 Jul 2009 09:01:02 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1867&Itemid=59 (news/society/fears-grow-over-vampire-policemen-200907011867/)BRITAIN'S police forces have been overrun by idiot, racist vampires, it was claimed last night. Wed, 01 Jul 2009 08:39:39 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1866&Itemid=59 TONY Blair actor Michael Sheen is to extend his repertoire of real-life characters by playing Red Rum in a BBC... Tue, 30 Jun 2009 13:26:13 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1865&Itemid=26 THE All-England Tennis Club has scrapped its traditional rules in a bid to preserve centre court for pretty... Tue, 30 Jun 2009 09:17:16 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1864&Itemid=59 THE Queen is demanding a 20% increase in the civil list so she can buy herself a really... Tue, 30 Jun 2009 08:44:51 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1863&Itemid=59 (news/society/fat-people-to-be-squeezed-into-camps-200906301863/)FAT people should be squeezed into specially designed camps so that children will not have to look at them,... Tue, 30 Jun 2009 07:46:09 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1862&Itemid=26 CRICKET fans were shocked last night after Michael Vaughan announced his retirement for what they were sure was at least... Mon, 29 Jun 2009 10:21:36 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1861&Itemid=59 SCIENTISTS are urging people not to panic when a large, shiny yellow ball appears in the skies over Britain this... Mon, 29 Jun 2009 09:29:54 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1860&Itemid=59 MICHAEL Jackson was a black man, it was claimed last night. Mon, 29 Jun 2009 08:09:32 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1859&Itemid=59 WORKING immigrants have been branded as 'scandalously self-sufficient' after £10bn in benefits went unclaimed last year. Fri, 26 Jun 2009 10:12:03 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1858&Itemid=59 A PSYCHOTIC convict has killed a dozen people on the social networking website Facebook by sending them a message saying... Fri, 26 Jun 2009 09:42:35 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1857&Itemid=59 THE white matter visible in Lily Allen's left nostril in a recent paparazzi photograph is a tiny snowman made by... Fri, 26 Jun 2009 09:23:20 +0100