Headlines from TheDailyMash.co.uk. It's news to us http://www.thedailymash.co.uk Fri, 19 Mar 2010 23:09:44 +0100 FeedCreator 1.7.2 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2576&Itemid=74 FORMULA 1 manufacturer Mclaren has unveiled a budget supercar targeted at the insecure arse with only £150,000 to waste. Fri, 19 Mar 2010 09:06:55 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2575&Itemid=76 (news/environment/green-campaign-urges-drivers-to-get-wedged-under-lorry-201003192575/) THE government's latest green motoring campaign is urging drivers to switch off their engines and get wedged under a massive lorry. Fri, 19 Mar 2010 08:27:44 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2574&Itemid=29 Karen Fenessey ANOTHER Mother’s Day passes and once again we all take a moment to remember that special woman who sums up the entire event: Jade Goody. But can I be the only one who absolutely insists we look more closely at the legacy she has bequeathed us? Thu, 18 Mar 2010 19:19:37 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2573&Itemid=75 MEN are still really trying to find the constantly-naked Lady Gaga attractive, it emerged last night. Thu, 18 Mar 2010 18:40:30 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2572&Itemid=26 HULL City chairman Adam Pearson is to follow up his appointment of Iain Dowie as manager by burning the stadium to the ground and salting the pitch. Thu, 18 Mar 2010 10:44:17 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2571&Itemid=81 THE majority of the UK workforce do not really know what they are supposed to be doing while they are at the office, according to new research. Thu, 18 Mar 2010 09:56:32 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2570&Itemid=26 CHELSEA captain John Terry injured a Stamford Bridge security guard in what the club has described as bungled attempt to have sexual intercourse with him. Thu, 18 Mar 2010 09:23:46 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2569&Itemid=76 (news/environment/sunderland-to-build-car-that-won%27t-reach-doncaster-201003182569/)THE Nissan factory in Sunderland is to produce a new electric car that will be unable to get as far as Doncaster. Thu, 18 Mar 2010 08:25:34 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2568&Itemid=81 (news/society/a-child%27s-guide-to-modern-britain-201003172568/)RUB a dub dub, three men in a tub - Which is a perfectly normal domestic arrangement and exactly the same as a mummy and daddy who are married. Wed, 17 Mar 2010 09:04:34 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2567&Itemid=26 POET Laureate Carol Ann Duffy has penned a poetic tribute to Chelsea's favoured 4-3-3 formation without being asked. Tue, 16 Mar 2010 21:51:34 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2566&Itemid=76 SHOPPERS are being offered the chance to use ethical purchases to 'offset' acts of unspeakable foulness. Tue, 16 Mar 2010 18:13:02 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2565&Itemid=71 Psychic BobPisces (20 FEB-20 MAR) Spring is definitely in the air as you spray your colleagues' desks with your pungent urine and strut up and down in front of the large-breasted temp, ostentatiously displaying the lining of your new jacket. Tue, 16 Mar 2010 17:44:31 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2564&Itemid=40 Dear Holly, I am thinking of buying my girlfriend a sexy negligee to wear in bed. I have the suspicion that this might be more arousing to look at than her usual '2005 Race for Life' T-Shirt-and-Primark-sweatpants-combo... Tue, 16 Mar 2010 16:25:18 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2563&Itemid=81 MILLIONS of Britons are descended from the bastard offspring of aristocrat-defiled domestic drudges, it was claimed yesterday. Tue, 16 Mar 2010 11:21:01 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2562&Itemid=81 ED Balls has condemned children's commissioner Dr Maggie Atkinson for using her years of professional experience in forming an opinion. Tue, 16 Mar 2010 10:47:12 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2561&Itemid=75 THE estate of Michael Jackson has signed a record breaking contract and vowed not to spend it all on funfairs, hush money and giraffes. Tue, 16 Mar 2010 09:59:51 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2560&Itemid=81 (news/society/hellish-journey-to-job-you-despise-to-cost-more-money-than-ever-201003162560/)THE horrific, soul-destroying journey you make every morning to the job that makes you want to die will soon cost a record breaking amount of money. Tue, 16 Mar 2010 09:05:42 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2559&Itemid=28 BRITAIN'S biggest trade union today ordered Gordon Brown to describe it as 'deplorable'. Mon, 15 Mar 2010 12:20:50 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2558&Itemid=26 LIVERPOOL are in talks with a private equity firm over a multimillion bid for the contents of Rafael Benitez's imagination. Mon, 15 Mar 2010 10:41:43 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2557&Itemid=81 TEENAGE boys are to be given lessons in how to release the vice-like grip on their penises for five minutes and get some sleep. Mon, 15 Mar 2010 09:41:26 +0100