Headlines from TheDailyMash.co.uk. It's news to us http://www.thedailymash.co.uk Fri, 09 May 2008 14:46:31 +0100 FeedCreator 1.7.2 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=938&Itemid=59 BRITIAN will arrive at work this morning dressed in nothing but its underpants, following the latest decree from Robbie Williams.His... Fri, 09 May 2008 08:32:54 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=937&Itemid=59 ATHEISTS and agnostics are decent people whose tormented souls will burn for all eternity in the scorching fires of hell,... Fri, 09 May 2008 07:32:19 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=936&Itemid=84 A DAFFODIL who accused a Bumblebee of groping it in a public park was asking for it, the bee claimed... Thu, 08 May 2008 20:46:07 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=935&Itemid=59 ITV was last night fined a record £6m for Ant and Dec. Thu, 08 May 2008 20:04:53 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=934&Itemid=59 STRONG tea is to be reclassified as a category B drug, home secretary Jacqui Smith announced last night. Thu, 08 May 2008 08:21:34 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=933&Itemid=26 FABIO Capello has picked Steven Gerrard as the man who will miss England's crucial World Cup semi-final penalty in 2010. Thu, 08 May 2008 07:13:16 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=932&Itemid=59 BORIS Johnson is to ban Scotsmen from the London Underground in a bid to make the Tube more bearable for... Wed, 07 May 2008 19:06:26 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=931&Itemid=28 THE Scottish Labour leader Wendy Alexander was celebrating last night after going to the toilet all by herself. Wed, 07 May 2008 08:24:28 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=930&Itemid=59 FAT men are being urged not to bare their breasts in public this summer, as it emerged they were not... Wed, 07 May 2008 07:56:12 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=929&Itemid=59 MORE than three-quarters of all office workers are either drunk or drinking at their desks right now, according to a... Wed, 07 May 2008 07:36:12 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=928&Itemid=84 THESE puppies are absolutely adorable, it was confirmed last night. Wed, 07 May 2008 06:56:33 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=927&Itemid=84 ENORMOUS, terrifying tropical insects that are the stuff of nightmares may at last be on the brink of extinction, it... Tue, 06 May 2008 07:42:50 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=926&Itemid=59 THE number of wives still worth having sexual intercourse with has fallen to an all-time low, marriage experts have announced. Mon, 05 May 2008 19:59:17 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=925&Itemid=62 BY PETULA SOUL Britain's most insightful agony aunt.Dear Petula,I’m married and have a baby but I have been attracted to... Mon, 05 May 2008 12:30:20 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=924&Itemid=59 EVERY Londoner is to receive extra tuck before evensong and be given vouchers to opt out of buggery, the city's... Mon, 05 May 2008 07:53:33 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=923&Itemid=59 EVERYONE'S hair is now shiny, manageable and full of body, the United Nations has confirmed. Mon, 05 May 2008 07:48:28 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=922&Itemid=62 WITH PSYCHIC BOBTaurus (April 20-May 20)You know your sweetie's favourite food and favourite movie, but do you know their deepest... Sun, 04 May 2008 11:18:00 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=921&Itemid=59 THE world's 800 million lesbians are to club together and set up their own country. Fri, 02 May 2008 06:34:27 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=920&Itemid=28 PRIME minster Gordon Brown last night admitted he loathes absolutely everyone in Britain. Fri, 02 May 2008 05:56:03 +0100 http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=919&Itemid=59 WORKERS in offices have been ordered to stop defecating on each other’s computer keyboards. Thu, 01 May 2008 19:13:36 +0100