DO YOU have lots of weird grievances and think people are looking down on you?
It’s possible you have a chip on your shoulder. Take our test and find out.
You wave at your neighbour in the street but she does not respond. Why is this?
A. She obviously didn’t see me.
B.The snooty cow thinks she’s too good for the rest of us, with her posh, lah-di-dah job as a dinner lady.
Your local playground needs new equipment. What is the cause?
A. Spending cuts, or it could just be an oversight by the council.
B. The government spends all the money on theatres in London and doesn’t care if the kiddies round here have got nothing to play with except an old Yazoo bottle.
Your boss asks you to find something for the work experience guy to do. What do you say?
A. “No problem, Keith.”
B. “Not in my job description. You may think you’re a big shot in your Next suit, Keith, but you can stick your work experience guy UP YOUR ARSE.”
Your novel ‘Cave Wizards’ is rejected by every publisher. Why was this?
A. It was not very good.
B. Publishing is run by a clique of Oxbridge Jemimas who only publish books by people they go to dinner parties with, even if this sounds like a deeply unprofitable business model.
When visiting the doctor she asks you how much you drink. Why?
A. It is standard practice and may affect your treatment.
B. She loves lording it over the ‘little people’, telling us how to live our lives. Some of us NEED a drink after a hard day. Try living in the real world, missie. THE REAL WORLD.
Mostly As. You are not wasting your life on pointless imaginary conflicts. Possibly because you think you are too clever to have petty feuds with normal people like us. You’re not though.
Mostly Bs. You have a massive chip on your shoulder and your obsession with everyone disliking you may become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Not that you care. You don’t need anyone, anyway.
