Blue commits ritual suicide
Boy band disembowells itself with ceremonial daggers after dishonouring the people of England.
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Brits immune to coronavirus after four pints
British policeman outraged at US police for all the cool shit they’ve got
I got away with it, by Dominic Cummings
Your guide to being a coronavirus twat at the seaside
The Guardian’s guide to why you shouldn’t enjoy that
All the people your elderly parents have had round while they’ve been isolating
Scrupulous married couple imposing own sex ban
Woman manages three whole pages of her lockdown book
Man realises he’s been invited to vegetarian barbecue
Bankers who stole everything told now might be good time to give it back
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