A WOMAN has inadvertently got Dry January off to a flying start by being so ill she could not contemplate alcohol.
36-year-old Donna Sheridan has breezed through her first drink-free day by spending the entire day hunched over her toilet, sweating, swearing and groaning ‘never again, please God’.
She said: “Can’t you see I’m dying in here? Turn the light off before I throw up again.
“Staying sober in January is supposed to be difficult, but I didn’t expect it to nearly kill me. Please tell me this is the worst of it and it gets easier from here on out, I’m begging you. I can’t do 30 more days like this.
“Why am I being punished for ringing in the New Year when my intentions were good? I put away all the booze I had, even the tequila, so I wouldn’t be tempted today and it hurts so much I can’t even be smug about being on the wagon.
“Even the thought of just sipping a glass of prosecco is enough to make me heave. If I somehow survive today that’s me off the booze forever. Nothing but elderflower presse for me from now on.”
Friend Emma Howard said: “Two weeks in, Donna will really start to feel the benefits of Dry January. Healthy, happy, full of energy. Bet she celebrates with a drink.”