Woman getting ready for New Year's Eve party won't be done by midnight

A WOMAN getting ready to go to a New Year’s Eve party is looking increasingly unlikely to be finished before midnight.

Emma Bradford swore that she would be ‘an hour tops’ when she got out of the shower at 7pm, but by 11.30pm was still pissing about with different outfits and make-up.

Bradford said: “It’s important I get everything just right. I put on the new black dress I made Tom buy me for Christmas, but then two of the girls put pics up on Insta and they were wearing black too. I’m hardly going to make an impression in that now. It’ll look more like a wake than a party.

“So I tried my red dress on but decided it looked at bit tarty. White? Too prudish and virginal. I could have worn the green one, but I wore that on Christmas Day and everyone will have seen the pictures.

“In the end I chose the navy blue, which obviously meant taking off all my make-up and starting again. Luckily it doesn’t matter if we’re late – it’s a party after all and no one has work tomorrow, so it’s bound to go on until the early hours.”

Bradford’s boyfriend Tom Booker said: “I’m not arsed if we don’t make it, to be honest. The last thing I want to do is spend my New Year with Emma’s shitty friends.

“I’m halfway through a 12-pack of Stella while I’m sat waiting, so I’m more than happy not to go anywhere now I’m this pissed.”

Party hostess Nikki Hollis said: “I’m just hoping Emma doesn’t rock up at 1am when I’m trying to get everyone to f**k off home, like she did last year.”

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Couple still holding out for extravagant celebrity party with free bar

A COUPLE have refused to make any New Year’s Eve plans in the hope that they will be invited to a fabulous, star-studded party.

Emma Bradford and Tom Logan have turned down multiple invitations from friends and family, seeming to think they will miraculously find themselves on the guest list of a party filled with rock stars and models, despite not knowing any and living in Leicester.

Bradford said: “We know we’re leaving it late, but we’re really hoping to get something along the lines of an exclusive members-only London nightclub with cage dancers, a champagne fountain and a f**kton of drugs served up on a platter.

“I’m hardly going to waste New Year’s Eve on loved ones, who I can see any time. And who we’re already bloody sick of because Christmas was only last week.”

The couple have yet to receive the all-important invitation but refuse to give up hope.

Bradford added: “The best we’ve had so far is karaoke at the pub down the road. But I can’t see any celebrities turning up there unless their car breaks down. And what would Jude Law be doing in Oadby?

“If nothing comes up I guess we’ll just sit on the sofa and watch the fireworks with a glass of Cava then go straight to bed. That’s what we’ve done for the last five years.”