NEWS that John Terry is fully fit has blown David Bowie’s comeback out of the water.
Bowie’s team had spent months secretly recording his first material in ten years and assumed it would be a media sensation.
However, they had reckoned without the news that John Terry had finally won his battle with fitness and was set to retake his place in the Chelsea back four.
To date, Bowie’s new single Where Are We Now? has been downloaded just 48 times, a victim of what cultural commentators have called “The Terry factor”.
Media analyst Julian Cook said: “David Bowie always had a keen sense of the ‘zeitgeist’, but clearly he’s spent too much time in that Swiss chateau of his and failed to understand the national mood of Terrymania.
“I personally like David Bowie, but I fucking love John Terry.”
However, other believe that this was a publicity stunt gone wrong.
John Terry biographer Roy Hobbs said: “It’s my belief that Bowie knew Terry would be fit around now and deliberately tried to get on board his bandwagon.
“Well, this is his biggest misjudgment since the Tin Machine tour. I think we’ll be hearing very little about David Bowie in the days and weeks to come, or any time after.”