Disney to release 'Cups'

DISNEY’S next release is to be the story of some cups with eyes and mouths.

Cups continues the companies successful strategy of putting eyes and mouths on objects and then making them talk.

A studio spokesman said: “If you liked Pixar’s Cars you’ll adore Cups.

It’s packed with thrills and, quite literally, spills.

“Then after Cups, still in development but slated for 2014, we’ve got Chopping Boards.”

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Bartoli retires so she can destroy John Inverdale

WIMBLEDON champion Marion Bartoli has retired from tennis so she can devote all of her time to ruining John Inverdale’s life.

The Frenchwoman said the BBC presenter’s comment that she was ‘never going to be a looker’ deserved the ‘appropriate, detailed response’.

She added: “I am very wealthy. Much, much wealthier than John Inverdale. But what I didn’t have was time.

“Now I have time and money and nothing to do with both of them but bring John Inverdale to his knees.”

Asked exactly what she was going to do to Inverdale, Bartoli said, ‘wait and see’ and then smiled like an absolute maniac.