THE Hatton Garden jewel thieves have been sentenced to sit through the inevitable British gangster movie based on their heist.
Seven men, all believed to have quirky nicknames, will be strapped to cinema chairs and forced to watch Danny Dyer being a ‘tasty geezer’ for 90 minutes.
Defence lawyer Roy Hobbs said: “They will be subjected to horrible stereotypes and incredibly painful Cockney banter.
“All they did was steal some jewels for Christ’s sake.”
The film will feature Dyer alongside Vinny Jones and all the surviving cast members from Minder.
Hobbs added: “The mark of a civilised society is whether it uses Danny Dyer against its own people.”