Neighbours is elitist woke lefty propaganda that should have been cancelled years ago, by Nadine Dorries

NEIGHBOURS is facing the axe? Good. For decades, woke broadcasters have rammed ivory tower ultra-liberal politics down our throats using sneering Aussie Marxists. 

Instead of a daytime soap reflecting traditional British values of foxhunting, deregulation and tight-knit communities of Irish Catholic immigrants, our masters attempt to dictate our values from on high. And they’re oh so predictable.

Daphne the stripper can retire and live a respectable life! Don’t worry about the collapse of the nuclear family, Jim Robinson will take in any and all runaways! It’s fine for a doctor to live in a van! People called Toadfish can be part of society!

Not one ordinary Briton truly believes this. They know that Daphne should have died working the streets, that Vietnam veteran Robinson would have not one ounce of compassion, that Toadfish would rightly be drowned in Lassiters’ lake.

But, hypnotised by the BBC’s relentless twice-a-day broadcasts, they were tricked into believing there could be a world of sunshine, of happiness, of amnesiac resurrections, of good neighbours being good friends rather than key tools of the surveillance state.

The British public rejected Neighbours long ago. They turned away from the lie. They rejected the anti-business propaganda that saw wealth creator Paul Robinson branded ‘evil’ just because of his evil deeds.

I for one hope that Erinsborough realises its error. That it spends its final months arguing that Australia should relinquish its status as an independent nation and return to British rule. That Scott and Charlene return and explicitly back Brexit.

Also the licence fee should be abolished immediately and the BBC defunded. Again, this is just something everyone in Britain wants.

Are you hungry or just procrastinating?

ARE you so famished that you have no option but to force salt-and-vinegar McCoys down your face, or just avoiding work? Find out: 

You’ve just had breakfast and switched your laptop on. Do you: 

A) Check emails, look at your priorities for the week, make a to-do list and crack on
B) Realise you can’t give 110 per cent without another slice of toast

A project you abandoned on Friday afternoon needs to be finished by 11am. Do you: 

A) Pick up straight away, checking figures and redrafting so it’s done on time
B) Remember you only put it down for a brief biscuit break and never had the biscuits, so address this oversight immediately

You’ve almost finished the project with minutes to go before the deadline. Do you: 

A) Finish with a flourish and send the attachment round
B) Break for elevenses

Your boss emails for a quick catch-up. Do you: 

A) Deal with it straight away, then you’ve cleared your desk before lunch
B) Given that it’s 11.20am it practically is lunch, which she should know, so ignore the email and make a ham sandwich to pick at listlessly because you’re not really hungry

It’s the afternoon team meeting on Zoom. Do you: 

A) Position your ring light, adjust your laptop’s height and present a polished, professional image
B) Turn off the camera, mute the microphone and eat beans on toast throughout

Shit, you forgot about the presentation for tomorrow. Do you: 

A) Do it now
B) Make a full roast dinner and a trifle

ANSWERS

MOSTLY As: You’re so dedicated and efficient you sometimes forget lunch. All to no avail, because the lardy bastards you work with are so sluggish it takes a day to answer your emails.

MOSTLY Bs: You are essentially paid to stuff your face. But nobody gives a shit, it’s just work.