THE first person to use a slow, acoustic cover of a pop song in a film trailer has taken a moment to reflect on the horror they have unleashed onto the world.
Hollywood video editor Martin Bishop has been overwhelmed with guilt and regret for using a half-speed version of a hit parade song in a film trailer as part of a desperate bid to get bums on seats.
He said: “It’s hard to believe now, but at the time it was a pretty groundbreaking contrast to the visuals. But I never meant for it to catch on like this. And it’s a burden I’ll carry with me to my grave.
“Like the opening of Pandora’s Box, there’s no going back. The evil I created will stalk this world for the rest of time, forever blemishing songs you used to love like Creep and Smells Like Teen Spirit.
“You can’t even escape my unholy trope by arriving at the cinema ten minutes late. Movie trailers are on your phone now, and even Christmas adverts are getting in on the act. I’d get on my knees and beg for your forgiveness, but I know even that would be too little too late.”
Cinemagoer Nikki Hollis said: “Martin shouldn’t beat himself up. At least he didn’t create the Inception horn. Hans Zimmer should be hunted down and shot composing that monstrosity.”
