Woman stupidly thinks she'll cancel streaming subscription before free month is up

A WOMAN signing up for a free trial of a paid streaming service genuinely believes she will cancel her membership before being charged.

Naive Now TV membership holder Nikki Hollis honestly thinks she will remember to cancel her subscription of her own accord before the first monthly payment of £4.99 is taken from her bank account.

She said: “I want to watch the latest series of Succession, but I also don’t want to pay any money. This seems like the perfect solution with no possible financial consequences.

“I’m surprised streaming companies still let people sign up for free trials. Don’t they know we’re outsmarting them and exploiting their goodwill by unsubscribing at the last second? Absolutely no one is ever caught out and ends up paying them money without realising it.

“Thanks to the mental note I’ve made, I’ll be able to enjoy Now TV’s high-quality content for weeks without giving them a penny. Yes, I forgot to close my Netflix, Amazon Prime, Disney+, Apple TV and BFI Player accounts before getting stung, but this will be different. I can feel it.”

Upon entering her personal details, Hollis was reminded that she has an existing Now TV account which has already rinsed her to the tune of £200.

Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday

How to make the situation worse when a phone signal breaks up, by your parents

YOUR parents have a delicate relationship with modern technology. Here is how they will make a phone call even worse when the signal drops:

Start shouting

Your mum assumes mobile phones work in the same way as cups and string, prompting her to shout to re-establish the connection. With each ‘Can. You. Hear. Me?’ her pronunciation becomes more staccato and formal, resulting in her eventually sounding like Hyacinth Bucket barking over a dockyard PA system.

Press all the buttons

With shouting not working, your mum has handed the phone to your dad who immediately begins pressing every button on the screen. The call will go on speaker, then he’ll attempt to type in digits but forget the number. Finally, the ordeal will finish with your mum cursing at your dad because he’s gone to find his glasses due to the screen being ‘too small and fiddly’.

Take physical action

Your dad was a dab hand at fixing analogue TVs, so giving the phone a good whack should work. This only results in a fierce rebuke from your mum, who will then give the phone a gentle shake by her ear, and whisper ‘Hello?’ as though giving CPR to a mouse. Neither restorative actions work.

Think outside the box

The other end of the phone has descended into chaos. Your dad is convinced the problem is due to ‘gremlins’ and is pointing the phone at the TV aerial on the roof. Your mum is convinced they need to put more credit on ‘before the pips go’, even though the phone is on a monthly contract. Tempers are fraying and the signal has naturally reconnected without your parents noticing.


Your parents are now experiencing full-scale bickering. Your mum is blaming your dad for all his ‘crap in the loft blocking the signal’, but your dad is certain she’s worn it out by ‘nattering about shite’. Mum hits back by telling your dad to change his clothes as the static from his cardigan is clearly the source of interference. You hear him utter ‘rubbish!’ while taking it off just to be sure.

Seek help elsewhere

They’re both in a mood. Your dad storms off to look for the mobile phone manual, while your mum calls your brother on the landline to tell him not to call them on the mobile. After finally finding the one part of the house that has signal, the conversation is cut short as their phone runs out of charge.