Company seeking ‘superstar’ settles for deeply mediocre office drone

A COMPANY that wrote a sickeningly over-the-top advert for a boring job has had to rethink its expectations.

Bishop & Muir, an injection moulding company based in Reading, advertised for a ‘flawless superstar admin guru ninja’ before admitting they would accept some who just turns up on time and does not mind making tea.

Managing director Martin Bishop said: “I don’t know why we did it actually, as really the qualities you want in an admin assistant are ‘subservient’ and ‘pedantic’, but when other companies are trying to attract staff using words like ‘rockstar’  and ‘hero’ it’s hard not to join in.

“We also described ourselves as a ‘diverse team of maverick innovators’, when actually it’s just me, my business partner Nathan and weird Carole who keeps leaving her dentures in the office fridge.”

He added: “We employed a man called Kevin. He’s fine.

“Ideally we would have liked a superstar but Bono’s agent said he wasn’t able to work weekends.”