Google 'spending UK tax money on annoying shit for its office'

GOOGLE is spending what should be UK tax money on nauseating ‘trendy office’ shit like a massive Jenga set, it has been claimed.

Financial analyst Roy Hobbs said: “The money Google saves on UK tax is being used to purchase Scalextric cars, retro consoles, inflatable chairs and similarly vomit-inducing things for Google’s communal areas.

“They are taking money out of Britain’s threadbare pockets so they can bounce around their twattish Google HQ on fucking ‘original 80s’ space hoppers.

“I wouldn’t mind if they were just buying crack or guns.”



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Iceland unveils Christmas Dinner Pizza

FROZEN food chain Iceland has launched its range of Christmas food, including a full roast dinner on a pizza.  

The fully microwaveable Christmas range includes a 14-inch ‘Christmas Dinner Pizza’ with all the trimmings, such as Southern-style sprouts in BBQ sauce, roast potato rings, and a stuffing-stuffed crust.

An Iceland spokesman said: “Christmas is a time to enjoy good food with the other members of whatever dysfunctional domestic arrangement you happen to be part of.”