Shop assistant asking if you 'need any help' definitely thinks you're going to nick something

SHOP assistants asking if you ‘need any help’ definitely suspect you of shoplifting, it has been revealed.

Nikki Hollis was recently offered ‘help’ while browsing a high-end boutique. She said: “I was buying a birthday present for my sister when the assistant approached me. I was really surprised because I was just in jeans and trainers and I would have thought they’d be more attentive to posher-looking customers.

“There was a really fancy woman looking at skirts, but they ignored her while being incredibly attentive to me. I must have misjudged the staff as snobbish types who would look down on ordinary people.

“It was great timing because I actually had no idea what I could get my sister for under £50.”

Shop assistant Emma Bradford said: “I ended up helping her find an inexpensive Swarovski necklace. It just meant I could keep a proper eye on her until she left the shop.”

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Trump nervously gives Putin list of people he'd like killed

PRESIDENT Trump has nervously given Putin a handwritten list of all the people he would like to have killed.

The US leader was meant to wait until the end of the Helsinki summit to hand the note, written in crayon on an unlined yellow Post-It, to the Russian leader but was too impatient.

He said: “First Hillary, which you know about, okay? I know you know that one but I thought you might have forgotten and I wanted to make sure.

“Second this guy Mueller who’s investigating us, like you and me, which is ridiculous. It’s the most ridiculous. That’s why he’s underlined. I underlined in red.

“That one’s Obama, you can’t tell because I crossed it out and wrote it again. Maybe I spelled it wrong the first time, it’s a crazy name. Not American.

“And underneath I’ve put the EU. Not everyone, just as many as you can manage. I don’t know which ones you like but all the bad ones. They’re problem guys. I’m a solutions guy. If that’s not too many?”

Putin replied: “Some of these okay. But really, come on. By now we should be at the stage of you handling at least half of these yourself.”