REFORM UK have announced plans to deport the entire population of the UK then allow them back one by one after screening interviews. 

Nigel Farage has announced that when he wins the next election by a landslide, which requires a mere 8,140 per cent increase on last year’s five seats, he will revoke all citizenship and begin again from scratch.

He continued: “Many of you don’t deserve to be here, and it’s not just down to skin colour. My prejudices run so much deeper than that.

“So we’ve decided it’s fairer to deport everyone then only re-admit those who have the right to reside in Britain based on voting records, search histories and number of England flags affixed, painted onto or otherwise displayed on street furniture.

“We’ll be using a largely empty country like France or Australia as a holding area, I’m sure they won’t mind, and if you don’t pass muster to live in Reform’s new Britain you get to become one of those refugees you’re so compassionate toward.

“‘Indefinite Leave To Remain’? Bollocks to that. Remain lost in 2016.”