A QUIZ-LOVING man watching BBC Two’s Only Connect was unable to answer any questions not because they were difficult, but because of Victoria Coren.
Tom Logan, aged 38, who refuses to use the presenter’s married surname, is normally an impressive performer in quizzes but when faced with her bosomy loveliness was unable to reliably recall his own name.
He said: “The questions are admittedly very difficult, but that does at least provide me with cover when my wife notices I’m staring stupefied, mouth agape, at the screen.
“The truth is I’m not trying to link Alan Shearer, a bishop’s hat and nitrogen but thinking about boobs like an infant. Also she is very clever and has an alluring laugh.
“It’s not all physical, though. She’s got that schoolteacher tone that means I want to be punished for not knowing anything. She’s also won half a million Euros playing poker, twice, which would be useful in a partner.
“I’ve started watching with a little notebook to help me. So far, it contains the words ‘prime numbers’ middle names’, ‘Roman roads’ and ‘those librarian glasses’ followed by a number of drawings I’m not proud of.
“Maybe the questions aren’t hard, it’s just that I am so there’s no blood in my brain. Is that the point of this quiz? To hammer home that mind-body separation is a myth? I’d go on it, but all I’d do is stare for 30 minutes. It must have happened before.”
He added: “Countdown? I get the conundrum every time. Rachel Riley’s not really my type.”
