IS your sex life lacking? With a new film about The Joy of Sex starring Colin Firth coming out, there’s never been a better time to emulate the original 1970s book. 

Bang your partner’s friends

The sexual awakening that led to Dr Alex Comfort writing the famous sex manual was the result of him having an affair with his wife’s best friend. Many partners have fit friends, and sleeping with them is definitely going to add variety and enjoyment to your sex life.

Do ‘the Wheelbarrow’

The most famous position in the book. Basically the woman puts her hands on the floor and the man enters her from behind while holding her up by the hips. It’s unclear whether you should put a big pile of soil on her back and awkwardly push her around the garden, but maybe the Colin Firth film will explain that.

Look like a member of the IRA

What really made The Joy of Sex memorable was its iconic 70s look. The guy in particular had the long hair and unkempt beard popular in the era and, oddly for a sex manual, resembled a member of the 1970s Provisional IRA. Work on getting that look, although there’s no need to violently oppose the British state or talk like Gerry Adams in bed.

But the woman must have a dowdy 70s haircut

Remember you have to stay true to the book so female partners should have that fairly unflattering quite-long-with-a-fringe cut that looks as if you’re wearing some sort of Scandinavian hat. Give her a picture of Jo Grant from Pertwee-era Doctor Who to take to the hairdresser like a loony.

Do a load of positions that don’t really add much to sex

It’s important you try things like the Lotus, which is basically the woman sitting on the man’s lap, and Coital Alignment Technique, the man lying on top of the woman but slightly ‘higher up’. Yes, this is all a huge faff that isn’t noticeably more pleasant than your usual sex, but it’s not fair to expect Dr Alex to crank out a whole book just about missionary, doggy-style and blowjobs. He’s allowed some filler.

Experiment as the book instructs you to

The ethos of The Joy of Sex is to do anything experimental and playful you’re both comfortable with. The film is going to be heavily reliant on 70s nostalgia, so now’s your chance to fulfil your deepest fantasies and persuade your female partner to pretend to be Sally James, Janet Ellis or Madame Cholet. Just hope she’s not got a kink for Noel Edmonds.