Naturalists report sighting of elusive, rarely-seen Yodel driver

NATURE experts have reported a rare eyewitness sighting of a Yodel delivery driver.

Yodel drivers are thought to exist in scattered breeding colonies around the UK, but hide from mankind and prefer to just leave a card rather than knocking or ringing a bell.

Yodel-watcher Wayne Hayes said: “I’ve seen lots of Yodel cards on my doormat over the years, often telling me I was out when I was in. That’s the kind of quirky humour Yodel drivers enjoy.

“But like most of us, I had never seen a Yodel driver in that flesh. I always wondered what they looked like, whether they were human or some sort of large fox that can drive.”

Hayes saw the Yodel driver as it was lobbing a fragile parcel over a neighbour’s garden wall.

“It was about six feet tall and walking on its hind legs. Its movements were quite graceful and swift.

“I ran to get my camera but when I got back it had gone. But it’s a good feeling knowing I can tell my grandkids about the time I saw a Yodel driver and how magical it was.

“Apparently their diet includes cardboard, which is why sometimes their parcels arrive with bites taken out of them.”

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Davis brings cake to EU meeting and insists he wants to eat it then somehow take it home

DAVID Davis has arrived at EU negotiations with a cake that he wants to eat but then still have afterwards.

Brexit minister Davis bought the cake, a low quality Victoria sponge, on the way to his meeting this morning and made sure to not offer it around.

Davis said: “If you’re being literal about it then yeah, I want to have my cake and eat it too, which has nothing to do with Brexit or the EU.

“I’m just a man who wants to be able to eat a cake and then still have the cake afterwards.

EU chief negotiator Michel Barnier added: “I’m pretty sure it had a reduced sticker on it so we weren’t that fussed.

“Anyway he ate all the cake, and now he doesn’t have a cake, although he has the cake box which he insists is the same thing.”