Luton Airport car park purged of bedbugs

LUTON Airport’s Terminal Car Park 2 has been successfully purged of the bed bug infestation sweeping the country, it has emerged.

The controlled immolation means that the smouldering pile of rubble is the only place in Britain safe from the swarm of blood-sucking parasites currently causing panic on the London Underground.

Airport spokesperson Tom Booker said: “We heard reports that a bed bug had been spotted in the wheel arch of a Peugeot 306, so we sent in some heavies with flamethrowers. As you can see they’ve done a bang-up job.

“We apologise for the disruption to flights but you’ve got to be thorough with this sort of thing. Ideally we would have napalmed from here to Winch Hill but we had to act quickly. Maybe next time.

“The results speak for themselves though. The collapsed site is now completely free from bed bugs, not to mention driveable cars. Maybe they should do something similar to the Tube if everyone’s freaking out about them?”

Stranded traveller Nikki Hollis said: “I’ve cancelled my flight to Paris and decided to go on holiday in the car park instead. Much safer.”

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