Earth hails successful Mars invasion

ALL the major Martian cities have been successfully destroyed.

Die space scum, die

Earth landed squadrons of giant death robots on the surface of the Red Planet in the early hours of this morning. These have since decimated the Mars capital of N’Lor with over nine million Martian casualties.

A spokesman for the collective governments of Earth said: “Since advanced humanoid life was discovered on the far side of Mars last month, the race has been on to build giant killer robots and then drop them onto the unsuspecting planet from huge intimidating-looking motherships.

“Although we don’t know much about the martians and their culture – it seems to be mainly about peace, philosophy, and so forth – surely they have some stuff that is worth taking. Plus it’s always good to win any military campaign, however passive the opponent.”

Astronomer Tom Logan said: “From what we’re learned so far, the human-like inhabitants of Mars are largely non-aggressive.

“Mostly they are just running away screaming or begging for their children’s lives moments before being blasted into fiery oblivion.

“It’s exciting to think what we might find in the smouldering wreckage of their civilisation.

“My only reservation is that the invasion might attract the attentions of another warlike alien race like us.”

Mother-of-two Emma Bradford said: “I don’t know why they’re spending all these billions on space war when there’s so many nations on Earth that could do with a good destroying.”