Trump’s ‘cognitive ability’ normal, he’s just a prick, says White House doctor

DONALD Trump has no obvious mental health issues, he is just a dreadful bastard, the White House doctor has confirmed.

Dr Ronny Jackson said the President was in very good health for a 71-year-old and that Trump ‘kept going on about it in a way that made him come across as an absolute fucking dick’.

Dr Jackson said: “When I was administering the cognitive test he kept saying that he was going to get the best results ever and I’m thinking, ‘you’re clearly not demented but Christ almighty, you are such a fucking penis, I really hate you’.

“So yeah, he’s basically fine, but still the most appalling person I’ve ever met.”

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “We have a tendency these days to assume people that we don’t like are somehow mentally impaired, when actually the simplest answer is that they are just turds.”