THE Nobel Peace Prize has been awarded, and once again President Trump has been overlooked in favour of a nobody. What does he have to do?
Denys Finch Hatton, cartographer: “He’s already stopped every war except Ukraine, Iran, Sudan and the new Sky One series War starring Dominic West and Sienna Miller. So maybe that last one?”
Sophie Rodriguez, collar starcher: “End World War Two before it happens. Baby Hitler’s waiting, Donald.”
Grace Wood-Morris, turf trader: “I mean Edwin Starr never won it in 1970 despite comprehensively deconstructing the entire concept of warfare, so these Swedes are habitually unjust.”
Norman Steele, chiropractor: “As Vegetius said, if you want peace, prepare for war. A massive troop build-up on the Canadian border should do the trick.”
Julian Cook, junior diplomat: “He should find whoever won it and swap his Fifa Peace Prize for it. After all that’s one of a kind, there’ll never be another.”
