PLAYING a guessing game about them is a great icebreaker with women at parties, probably. But bear these things in mind to avoid being told to f**k off instantly.
Guessing their age
Women are coy about their age, so a complimentary guess is one that’s way too low but not impossible. Try 12 years. And don’t try to be Sherlock Holmes by noting details like her uniformly consistent hair colour and basing a clever guess on that. Really this is just a process of feigning disbelief as she says ‘no’ to your too-low guesses. If you guess her age correctly first time you may find yourself chatting to the wall.
Guessing how many sexual partners they’ve had
Probably best played after a large number of drinks. If you guess high you’re basically calling her a top-drawer slag or a prostitute, and too low sounds like an unflattering assessment of her looks. Guessing ‘seven’ is pretty uncontroversial, even if you don’t believe it for a second, but she may still take umbrage for some reason. Frankly if you’ve initiated this game with a high chance of offence, whatever number you pick won’t be notched up by one tomorrow.
Guessing their dress size
If you’re feeling full of Dutch courage try this. If you don’t guess two sizes below what your actual assumption is, you’re in deep f**king trouble. Never say a number ending in a teen, and if you have to for the sake of basic realism, remember no woman in the UK is larger than a 14. Arguably it’s an unwise subject for a guessing game, but it’s not like you asked her her weight. That would have been rude.
Guessing their nickname at school
Even if they didn’t have a proper nickname, imagining what it would have been is fun, assuming you don’t immediately put your foot in it and suggest ‘ginger minger’. It’s also likely their nickname was based on a physical trait they hated, so don’t say ‘Concorde’ even if it was obviously that. Keep the guesses flattering, because they can guess your nickname as revenge. ‘Specky Bender’ is hurtful, especially if that was your actual nickname until the age of 16.
Guessing the kinkiest place they’ve had sex
Again, this has the potential to be taken as an insult, because what’s daring or kinky to you might be downright disgusting to her. So don’t say: against a pub wheelie bin, in a public toilet or in her parents’ bed when they were downstairs watching The Voice. It’s a fine line between being an entertaining conversationalist and a grubby pervert.
Guessing where they’ll be sleeping tonight
This is pretty obviously trying your luck, so you’d better be sure you’re really hitting it off with her. Unfortunately after being subjected to your guessing game, the correct answer is likely to be ‘Not with you’.
