THE UK’s media has announced it will not stop searching until it has found a critical mass of between three and 15 Brexiters angry at plans to reverse it. 

The prime minister has dared to suggest that Britain would benefit from closer ties with the EU and, oddly, a nation which just seven years ago had a critical mass of No Deal nutters has not risen up in revolt against him.

Sun journalist Nathan Muir said: “What happened? They can’t all have died. At least seven per cent were relatively young and healthy.

“And it can’t be that they’ve looked rationally at the benefits Brexit has delivered and changed their minds, because these were not rational people. Facts made them angry.

“But we’re trawling areas of high deprivation – Stoke-on-Trent, Lincolnshire, the whole of the North-East – and coming back with nothing. The passion’s gone. The best we’re getting are a few old crocks muttering about not wanting to go through all that again.”

Hannah Tomlinson of Newsnight said: “It’s standard BBC practice to include a couple of raving lunatics for balance and then imply they’re the voice of the people, but where are they? Surely they’ve not all become Reform councillors.

“Unless the whole 2016-2019 period was mass hysteria orchestrated by actors on social media. But no. Believe that, and you’ll start believing Boris Johnson wasn’t real.”