Women discussing their bisexuality online definitely not doing it for the male followers

ATTRACTIVE young women who describe their bisexual desires on social media are in no way attempting to attract salivating male followers, they have confirmed. 

Women like Sophie Rodriguez, 24, are pleased to be increasing awareness of bi issues, often among divorced middle-aged men on the internet.

She said: “For too long, bisexuality has been ignored and repressed, which is why I use every opportunity I can to remind my followers I’m a hot bisexual woman who would theoretically have sex with anyone. Well, anyone attractive.

“There are so many misunderstandings about being bi so I’m just doing everything I can to show the truth. And if that increases my follower count that’s just a bonus.

“If people want to learn more about my sexual relationships with other hot young women and so assert themselves as ‘bi allies’, they are more than welcome to follow my Instagram or OnlyFans. 

“There I upload photos of my dates with girls, so everyone can see that we’re just normal people who do regular things like go to the park, ride bicycles and shower together.

“I’m happy to take questions from followers if that increases awareness. No matter what some people may believe, bi life isn’t all threesomes, threesomes, threesomes, you know!

“Well, sometimes it is. Let me give you a detailed example.”

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Creepy dead-eyed stare not flirting, men reminded

MEN have been reminded that glowering at women with piercing stares does not count as flirtatious wooing.

Women across the UK have spoken out on this popular approach, and strangely feel that eyes boring into their skull in a fixed, emotionless gaze is less attractive than a tasteful compliment or witty joke.

Nikki Hollis from Portsmouth said: “Sorry guys, not even if you’re in a club or a cafe. It’s just as disturbing as when you do it in the street. Maybe it’s the ‘mass murderer’ vibe? Who can say?

“How do you expect us to react? It’s not actually that impressive to do literally nothing except keep your eyes open in our direction. Nobody’s hot enough to pull off that shit. 

“Be realistic. If it’s not going to work for the young Pierce Brosnan it probably won’t work for you.”

Eleanor Shaw from Hastings said: “You don’t look cool, stoic and mysterious. You look like a creep which, believe it or not, is creepy. At least keep your glances brief and throw in a wink, although that’s quite bad too.

“Coy looks are our flirting method of choice, so get your own. We’re repulsed by most things you’ve tried so far but I’m sure you’ll think of something.”

Man Norman Steele said: “No staring, got it. Wolf whistles are still universally popular though, right?”