THE availability of one-piece romper suits for adult males proves that men are over, it has been claimed.
Experts believe that the man-sized babygrow or ‘onesie’ is the concluding event in the history of human masculinity.
Evolutionary biologist Dr Emma Bradford said: “The modern world’s diminished need for physical strength has left men struggling to adjust. Or even, it seems, to put on a pair of proper trousers.
“Penises may exist for another couple of generations, but thanks to the onesie the concept of ‘man’ is officially dead.”
She added: “Technological advances mean that is in now pretty much possible to make a baby from silicone.
“Given the choice between a petri dish full of translucent matter and a genital organ that has been in a fluffy orange jumpsuit, I’m going with the fertile goo and my antique vibrator.”
Human male activities prior to dressing as giant infants include ekeing a living from the soil with bare, bleeding hands, forging tools from white-hot metal and fighting vagabonds to the death with swords.
Historian Nikki Hollis said: “As recently as 1946 it was not uncommon for men to do brave, dangerous things.
“Today, human males are bouncing around music festivals clutching falafels and shouting ‘Tigger’s here, weeeeeee!’.
Tom Logan, a 28 year-old onesie wearer, said: “Me dirty bot-bot. No nice. Wipey bot-bot. All stinky poo.