BRITAIN is marking St Hangover’s Day with shivering bouts of vomiting.
The holiday takes place after St Patrick’s Day and was first observed in 1517 when Mary Tudor was convinced the hogshead of mead she got for her 21st birthday was tainted with plague.
When she rallied the following afternoon she declared it St Hangover’s Day, suggesting that people use the time for quiet reflection and convincing themselves they are having a heart attack.
Theologian Roy Hobbs said: “St Hangover was a French priest and friend of Joan Of Arc, who he once went on a three-day sesh with to celebrate her 18th.
“He was known for his quick temper, crippling headaches and piercing, bloodshot eyes.”
Jane Thompson, who prays to St Hangover while holding two large paracetamol, said: “Blessed Saint, I beseech you make these precious tablets do their goodly works before my fucking head explodes.”