Britain in free-press bullshit extravaganza

BRITAIN is today enjoying a world class exchange of self-righteous bullshit.

Paul Dacre is just trying to stop you from being killed

In the traditional eve-of-major-report shouting ritual, professional and amateur opinion-havers made one last bid to silence their opponents’ views on free speech.

The media bullshit, led by News International, the Daily Telegraph and the Daily Mail, is focused firmly on the phrases ‘300 years’, ‘state-control’ and ‘worse than the French’.

But this has also been combined with a thinly-veiled threat to MPs tempted to vote for new regulation that they will have their fucking lives turned upside down.

The pro-regulation bullshit is a diverse collective of fancy writers, self-loathing Guardian readers and the adulterous croquet-player John Prescott.

They have rallied round the phrases ‘Murdoch’, ‘Murdoch’ and ‘Thatcher’.

Meanwhile, some of Britain’s most trusted and intelligent actors have called for tough regulations, a state-of-the-art trailer and £2m to play themselves in the Sam Mendes adaptation of day 14 of the Leveson hearings.

Media analyst Julian Cook said: “Like all proper British debates about important things, press freedom must be decided on the basis of vested interests, ulterior motives and dimwitted tribal nonsense.

“Otherwise how on earth would we get it completely wrong?”