Britain ‘not homely’

BRITAIN just isn’t homely and hasn’t been since the late sixties, it has emerged.

New research has confirmed Britain as ’somewhere you might go on holiday but not a place you’d want to live’.

Sociologist Mary Fisher said: “It’s alright, but a bit corporate and sterile. Like a massive Travelodge hotel room with fields in it.

“I quite like London, in a kind of expensive tourist trap hell hole kind of way. Wouldn’t want to raise any kids there though.”

Briton Tom Booker said: “I recently went to Berlin. It was cheap, the people were friendly and I didn’t have to look at George Osborne’s face.

“As soon as I got back home I thought, ‘Britain really is a shit hole’.

Mary Fisher added: “If Britain was a sitcom character, it would definitely be Rigsby from Rising Damp. Aspirational, clinging to the past and always wanting more money from you.”