Tuesday, 26th January 2021

British policeman outraged at US police for all the cool shit they've got

A BRITISH policeman has admitted he is furious at the sheer amount of cool shit his American counterparts have got. 

PC Tom Booker said when he sees news reports about police brutality in the US, he is slack-jawed in shock at their incredible anti-personnel equipment.

He continued: “There was a clip on the news yesterday of a crazed police officer in Tennessee charging full force at a peaceful protester with his riot shield.

“If I tried that I’d have a protester still standing and a shattered riot shield. The ones we’ve got are from the 1980s. My boss says he used them in the miners’ strike.

“And that’s the tip of the iceberg. Stinger grenades, riot shotguns with rubber buckshot, pepper balls, Taser XREP rounds, all delivered from state-of-the-art ATVs.

“Just imagine me strutting down the street with all that shit on. Kid calls me a tithead? Bang, he’s down and I’m stuffing him in the back of the van. Beautiful.

“It’s a terrible injustice they’ve got so much stuff and I’ve got nowt. It makes me want to take to the streets and smash shit up.”