THE public have informed Andy Burnham that chucking everyone two grand would provide some much-needed breathing space.
While the people of Britain are somewhat grateful for a £2 price cap on bus fares, they would much prefer it if the prime minister deposited two thousand pounds straight into their bank accounts instead.
Mary Fisher from Worcester said: “I rarely take the bus, but I’m haemorrhaging money on food and childcare every day. So a two grand cash injection would make more sense, fiscally.
“It wouldn’t be difficult to set up. Creating a standing order from the nation’s piggy bank should only take a couple of clicks, and they’ve got all of our details on file already. I’ll be patient and give Burnham until the end of the day.
“Remember to make it tax free. And don’t faff around with BACS payments because they can take 72 hours to clear. I’m planning to invest my lump sum at the Bingo this evening.”
Martin Bishop from Hastings said: “I’m usually against handouts and the nanny state, but if two grand’s on the table I’m willing to be the bigger person and put my principles aside.
“In fact, like most economic policies, this one doesn’t go far enough. Make it a monthly payment and we’ll say no more about it.”
