GCSE French textbooks are to be enhanced with stories of extra-marital liaisons.
Following Britain’s fascination with Francois Hollande’s alleged affair, academics believe tales of unfaithfulness could be key to boosting modern languages.
Textbook publisher Tom Logan said: “Traditionally French textbooks like Tricolore have consisted of dull passages about 12-year-old ‘Christophe Lambert’ who likes swimming, tennis, and for some reason visits the town hall on Wednesday afternoons.
“Who gives a shit?
“But what if Christophe’s attractive mum Valerie was mysteriously going on caravan holidays with a plethora of local men including Alain the mayor and Jacques the butcher.
“Then Christophe’s dad finds out, goes mental with a strimmer and you get to learn the ‘vocab’ for ‘I’ll cut the bastards’ nuts off’.
“Now that’s what I call bringing languages to life.”