MIDDLE class landlords are raising rents in apologetic ways designed to suggest it is not their fault, it has emerged.
Tenants who rent from seemingly nice middle class people reported nauseating excuses like “we haven’t put the rent up for several months because we really like you” and “it’s still cheap for the area”, which are obviously total bullshit.
Renter Emma Bradford said: “Our landlord is a trendy university lecturer who pretends to be our mate.
“Every time he turns the screws on the rent he makes a pained face and says how much he hates doing it but ‘property really is shooting up around here’ or some such crap.
“We’d rather he just went ‘I’m the puppet master, you’re the puppet, give me money, fuck you’. It would certainly save the boring preamble about his holiday at Center Parcs.”
Tenant Wayne Hayes said: “Our landlords are a nice couple who love the Guardian, have a cute little blonde kid and get their vegetables delivered in a box.
“They’re also the biggest fuckers going.”