MIDDLE class men still cannot explain their pathetic urge to try to impress working class men they meet.
The Institute for Studies found that 98 percent of middle class males felt a compulsion to suck up to their working class counterparts but could give no rational explanation for it.
Professor Henry Brubaker said: “Initially we thought it might be an attempt to get charged less by workmen, but it appears to be an altogether more complex form of creepy man-love.
“It may be they feel deep respect for the working man, or they could just be scared of them. Either way it’s pretty toe-curling when they start going ‘Alright, Jeff?’ and ‘Did you see the football?’.”
Accountant Tom Logan said: “I just can’t help myself when a plumber or some other horny-handed son of toil comes round. I’m like Lady Chatterley and they’re my lover.
“I was embarrassingly matey with the builders who did our extension. I’ve no idea why. I’m never going to see them again and in the cold light of day most of them were knobheads.
“Last week I started doing keepie uppies when the meter reader came round. I broke a couple of pictures and the Alexa but it was worth it because he laughed with me.”