Most mums writing bondage sex book

THE majority of the UK’s mothers are writing a novel about sado-masochistic sex, it has emerged.

According to new figures, 78% of mums are working on a sexually explicit book with a three-word title.

Mother-of-three Mary Fisher said: “When I drop the kids off at school I usually chat with the other mums about how our dungeon-themed sex books are going.

“Sometimes it gets quite competitive, ‘My protagonist’s more dominant than your protagonist’, that sort of thing.

“Basically you’re nobody at the school gate unless at least three major publishers aren’t already locked in a bidding war for your erotica.

“Mine’s called Maze of Lust and it’s about a brooding, muscular architect who builds a network of sex tunnels beneath his aspirational Grand Designs-style house.”

43-year-old housewife Emma Bradford said: “My erotic book is Hose Me Down Volume 1: Flames of Desire. It’s about a brooding, muscular fireman with a sex dungeon inside his specially-converted fire engine.”

Bradford’s husband Martin said: “Sometimes I try to initiate sex but she’s like, ‘No, I’ve got to be up early to finish a spanking scene before breakfast’.”