AUTHOR Juliet Myerson last night stepped up her attack on estranged son Jake by revealing how he used to dance around naked with his penis between his thighs pretending to be Bonnie Langford.
Myerson threw her son out of the house aged 17 for using cannabis and then wrote it all down in a book described by one critic as ‘about as maternally affectionate as a pre-menstrual tarantula’.
She now hopes to finish him off with a combination of the Langford-inspired trans-sexual prancing and a doctored photograph of him holding a Daniel O’Donnell LP.
The author, who was recently cautioned after vandalising a local flyover with the message ‘Jake Myerson Sucks Goats For Cash’, told the Guardian: “He’s an AIDS-riddled skunk monkey who likes baking, knitting and watching Murder She Wrote with his fairy-boys.”
The tradition of parent-child feuds in literary circles dates back to Chaucer, who dubbed his son Ian ‘a nancie boye both faire and true, who taketh it up the ers for a groat or twoe’.
But Jake Myerson has hit back telling the Daily Mail that his mother goes to the toilet on the kitchen floor and could start her own navy with the number of sailors who have been up her slipway.
He added: “I’m not that fussed, actually. I notice there’s a whole section in WH Smith written by people whose parents were utter shits.
“I’ll get some unemployed hack to ghost-write my version and spend the next 10 years munted as a twat. Result.”