THE new anti-terrorism bill will give everyone the choice of being a spy or an enemy of the state.It’s all going to be very sexy
Home secretary Theresa May said the bill would empower millions of people to communicate, exchange ideas and use flimsy pretexts to denounce anyone they dislike.
She added: Once youve made your choice you will be part of a dynamic, 21st Century network that’s all about people and having fun.
Or youll be dragged from your bed at 3am and flown to an abandoned abattoir in Turkey.
Under the bill spies and terrorists will sign-up via their Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn accounts. Meanwhile, the bill also sub-contracts many of the functions of MI6 to the O2 ‘Be More Dog’ campaign.
Anyone not on social media will have chosen terrorism by default and be sent to the Turkish abattoir.
Mrs May said: Once everyone on social media is spying on each other Britain will be a much happier place.
In exchange for their efforts every spy will be served with a huge range of adverts and each month one lucky winner gets to have lunch with Malcolm Rifkind.