SCOTTISH people from the higher social classes are inherently amusing due to their nasal accents and other factors, experts have announced.
Research by the Institute for Studies concluded that it was normal to laugh uncontrollably at their ostentatious kilt-wearing and strange sing-song accents that sound wrong coming from a Scottish person.
Professor Henry Brubacker said: “Test after test showed that posh Scots are intrinsically hilarious, with onlookers often physically incapable of not laughing and muttering ‘wanker’.
“Scottish people have long traded on their image of being hard and streetwise, so when a normal person is confronted with one of these obviously posh, trilling ponces they assume they’re putting on a comedy accent for some reason.
“Part of the problem is that Scots are usually portrayed in films like Braveheart and Rob Roy as salt-of-the-earth types being terrorised by upper-class English bastards. Do posh Scottish people want to be the bad guys?
“Also they sound as if they’re trying to be posh English people, who everyone hates anyway, and failing miserably. Who can be blamed for laughing at that? Not me, the Morningside twats.”
When asked to comment, Edinburgh resident William McKay said something unintelligible that sounded as if he was doing the voice for a puppet in a children’s TV show.
