Thursday, 29th October 2020

Rough f**kers and posh wankers ready to unite in fury over GCSEs

ROUGH bastard parents and posh twat parents are preparing to join in aggrieved fury about the government ballsing up GCSEs. 

The mums and dads of scally little f**kers and superior little pricks are ready for a historic coming together across class boundaries to shout angrily at the government for failing their precious offspring.

Donna Sheridan, aged 37, said: “It’s a f**king load of shit that our Josh isn’t going to get the GCSEs he needs for his apprenticeship because of a f**king computer. That’s bollocks that is.

“He’s worked bloody hard at that school when he’s there and now they’re snatching his future away from him. I’m about ready to f**king riot.”

Eleanor Shaw, aged 49, said: “While I might take issue with Donna’s language, I’m entirely in agreement that if an algorithm denies Oliver his chance of getting into Cambridge, then violent action would be justified.

“I would be proud to stand beside Donna at the barricades. And though certainly she will be able to crack a few heads, I think she’d be impressed with my prowess with a Molotov cocktail.”

A Downing Street spokesman said: “This is clearly a looming disaster of epic proportions which will do untold damage. We plan to do nothing.”