IT’S hard to believe, but not everyone likes you as much as you do. These are a few tell-tale signs people actually find you f**king irritating:
You get no eye contact
In the brief face-to face interchanges you have with colleagues, particularly females, they never seem to talk to you directly. Is this because you’re so ruggedly handsome that they fear gazing at you directly? No. It’s because your eyes are routinely transfixed at their chest and they’re all secretly bitching about your pervy ways.
You get fixed eye contact
Male colleagues, on the other hand, give you a fixed, unblinking glare. This isn’t the stoic glower of masculine approval you naively believe it to be. Instead, they’re pissed off because you either stole one of their clients, got the promotion that was rightfully theirs, or hit on their partner at the work do. Or, knowing you, all three.
They take non-existent phone calls
Constantly being on your phone around others is rude. That’s unless the person in question doesn’t like you, in which case it’s the perfect defence barrier. Notice how co-workers and acquaintances only seem to get calls when they see you approach, and how they always have to duck out and take it in private. It’s no coincidence. You’re that annoying.
You’re only in one WhatsApp group
Even tolerable people get roped into several WhatsApp groups like ‘Mark’s birthday gift ideas’ and ‘Soph’s leaving do’. Meanwhile you were only invited to one titled ‘Work’, and that was due to an administrative error. Although considering how annoying WhatsApp groups are, your terrible personality has done you a favour on this occasion.
You’re not invited to social events
Your mates invited you to their birthday parties and weddings a long time ago, but not anymore. And as for your work colleagues, they tend to keep their after work drinks to themselves. You get copied into the Christmas party email, but only because the company is legally obligated to. This behaviour is due to a little thing called your personality.
You’ve been punched in the face
People who are a pleasure to be around are sometimes punched, but only lightly and on the arm. A swift blow to the face is a coded message that your banter is grating and that everyone is tired of your constant one-upmanship. Your failure to pick up on this is also an indicator that you’re thick as shit. A quality that often goes hand-in-hand with being annoying as f**k.
