What is ‘savings’? ask under-30s

YOUNG people have been left confused by an obscure term used by financial experts called ‘savings’.

Even the handful who suspect it may be something to with collecting spare money have no idea how the fuck they are meant to do that.

Office worker Nikki Hollis, 25, said: “I know financial advice is complicated but can’t they just use plain English instead of this impenetrable gobbledegook?

“One of my old uni mates said he thought it was something to do with having a secret stockpile of money you haven’t spent and we all had a good laugh at that. Gavin always did have a wacky sense of humour.”

Paramedic Tom Booker, 27, said: “Maybe it’s a misprint. Maybe they’re talking about ‘shavings’. But how is scraping my facial hair out of the basin and keeping it supposed to get me a pension? That’s mental.

“I think ‘savings’ might be one of those archaic terms like ‘socage’ that have fallen out of use. These financial experts need to come and live in the 21st century.”

Financial advisor Norman Steele, 52, said: “In plain English, ‘savings’ is what you don’t have which means you’ll have to live in a rented flat all your life and eat Whiskas on toast when you are old.”