Woman still waiting for response to email just saying ‘hi’ with a link to penis pills

A WOMAN is annoyed after sending all her friends a helpful link to erection pills and not getting any response.

28-year-old Susan Traherne found the site selling ‘Ox’ penis tablets while surfing the net, and was so impressed by the product she decided to email every person in her address book with a link and a simple greeting of ‘hi’ written in lower case letters.

She said: “Maybe I should have personalised it a bit more, but people are too busy to read more than one word of text.

“Not being able to get an erection is a serious matter, and with these pills apparently a man can stay ‘ready for action’ all night long. I just thought people would be interested.

“Especially my sister’s husband Steve, I know for a fact that he struggles to get it up.”

However Traherne has had no replies to her message, despite writing ‘LOOK!!!’ in mauve letters above the link to highlight how excited she was.

She said: “It’s weird, normally my best friend Rachel responds to emails within an hour, and I know she’s off work today.

“Maybe I’ll follow it up with a link for a free iPad offer.”


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Ask Holly: I'm trying to squeeze out another boy wizard book so that I can buy Belgium

Dear Holly,

I’m trying to squeeze out another of my popular range of boy wizard books so that I can buy Belgium. I think I might write about how the main character Harry becomes middle-aged. He’ll stop bothering about all that magic nonsense and start a half-hearted interest in home brewing or gardening and he’ll spend most weekends ignoring his children at soft play or buying sealant from Homebase. Like a prisoner of Azkaban who has had his soul sucked out by a dementor, he’ll be forced by his family to watch Strictly and Bake Off and discuss childcare arrangements and home improvement loans, and as a result spend more and more time in the garage. The end. Any good?



Dear JK,

If it wasn’t for Harry Potter, school kids like me would just be reading those Willard Price books where titles are the name of a dangerous animal followed by the word ‘Adventure’. Thank goodness Harry Potter got the nation reading again. Although we don’t actually do any reading in school any more because a government initiative made the entire school open plan and no-one can hear themselves think.

Hope that helps,