PEOPLE who think toil should be enjoyable suffer from higher levels of work-related anxiety, it has been confirmed.
Studies have proved that people who go to work for a sense of fulfilment instead of earning money are more likely to be found crying in the loos because their boss gave them ‘constructive feedback’.
Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “There are only a handful of people on Earth who genuinely enjoy their jobs, and two of them are traffic wardens in Bradford.
“For everyone else, the data tells us that long-term happiness relies on entering the workforce safe in the knowledge that only drudgery and ingratitude lie ahead.
“Joy is best sought outside of sterile offices filled with psychopaths. Popular sources of pleasure include watching a stranger miss a train, or seeing on social media that an old school friend has put on more weight than you.
“If you must insist on feeling something at work, aim for anger or contempt. Far from compounding your stress, they’ll likely lead to a lovely promotion.”
Corporate drone Caroline Ryan said: “I’m thriving at work because I shut down my emotions years ago. Which is just as well, because if I reactivated them I’d feel nothing but despair at my dead-end job.”
